dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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