What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
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