I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
