"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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