her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
