David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
