Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize