I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize