I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
