i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
