He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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