He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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