the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
As shirtless as possible
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Randomize
