I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
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