Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Randomize
