Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
