One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
