I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
