Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Randomize
