i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize