dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize