Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
