I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize