This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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