And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
