i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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