so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
