"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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