Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Randomize
