next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
