im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
