come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
