why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
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