he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
