Screwed.edu
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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