I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
