Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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