my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
