How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
