After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Randomize
