A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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