belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize