I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
