Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
