What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
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