THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
