vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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