I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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