so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
