I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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