is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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