Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Randomize
