i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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