Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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