you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I just had sex on a roof
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
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