Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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