I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Damn victory sex feels great
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
