Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
My liver just had a heart attack.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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