puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
